My "America's Freaking Fat!!" Rant

It's been awhile since I posted and I needed a little ditty just to get something out there to let you know I'm still breathing...and thinking.

I traveled by plane to New York to the in-laws this past weekend for a few days of eating, sleeping, talking and not much else. I made one pathetic attempt at a work out on day 3 but pretty much resigned myself to a short rest cycle before leaping back into training full-on after the holiday. I feel fat. Even more annoying was having to navigate the sea of human blubber while moving through various airports to connecting flights. It probably would've been better if we were going west to L.A. or some other epicenter of overwhelming narcissism but we were going east. Let's face it, the fewer number of days during the year where one is compelled to take their shirt off because the weather is so nice, the less people give a shit how they eat and, thus, look. Holy crap! America is FAT!

I don't want to go off on a rant here but how hard would it be to just push away from the table and miss a meal... or five? Good god! I mean, come on! You don't just wake up one day, look in the mirror and go, "Holy shit! I'm 350 pounds!!" This takes time and effort. Dozens and dozens of trips to McD's and Dunkin' Donuts have to go down before that happens. One day you get a large, extra cheese, triple pepperoni pizza to share with your friends and realize, "hey, I didn't share it and it's gone! Anyone gotta Rolaid?" Some of these guys have'nt seen their dicks without a mirror and a flashlight in, like, a decade.

One of the coolest shows to find it's way onto television lately is The Biggest Loser. I'll admit it, I'm sucked in. I DVR the thing every week without fail and get all weepy-eyed watching these human pachyderms shed the weight, get strong and regain the self-respect they may have never known. It's truly compelling reality TV. I swear. But what it's revealed to me is that most of these obese people we see everyday that are symbolic of the national epidemic crippling this country simply eat WAY too much. Without fail, each contestant has a similar tale of life-long over-indulgence in shit few of the readers of this blog would venture to consider food. They simply pack it away day after day doing nothing resembling exercise...ever.

And when the trainers on the show change all that by whipping their asses in the gym and putting real food down their pie holes the weight literally falls off. It's not uncommon for the contestants to lose more than 100 pounds during their 11 week stint at "The Ranch". They then go home and the ones that've drank the Koolaid and stay true to the task can loose 50 or 60 more pounds before the 16 weeks are up.

Not only do these men and women feel and look great with all the self-esteem that comes with it, they also enjoy reversal of most of the debilitating diseases that come with the territory. Things like hypertension, diabetes, heart disease and stroke risk all vanish when the pounds come off. It's incredibly inspiring. Almost makes me want to get really fat just so I can lose it and feel like they do. Well, maybe not but you get my drift!

The sad thing is that the majority of these fatties are somehow finding ways to merge their seed (try to avoid the visuals here) and procreate. They then teach their little unbeknownst-to-them-wannabe fatties (their offspring) how to eat like shit and play video games and watch television 6 hours a day. And, thus, the cycle is perpetuated to the next generation.

This picture is a family having lunch in Boston's Logan Airport. The adults are HOOOOGE! The kids are not...yet. Dad and mom were so kind as to buy a big bag of fat, salt and shitty calories from the charming restaurant you see in the upper left hand corner of the photo. I watched the young boy to the left gleefully chow down his bag of crispy chicken what-nots dipped in heaps of ranch surprise sauce. He may eventually see even less of his dick than his father sitting in front of him! 

You know, I feel a little bad for the adults because it must suck. But that's as far as my sympathy goes because they know better. It's all over the place. Hell, their plight is a prime time television show! Tell me they're not getting their share of tube time. Be real. The information to make the change is out there.

But the kids don't know what's hitting them yet. And soon their little metabolisms will be all primed for this way of eating and living and the cure will be that much harder to swallow. I want to strangle their parents for doing this to them. I want to choke the crap out of the pediatricians who are not brutally honest with their patients' parents about what's happening. Don't want to give little Suzie or Johnny a complex and an eating disorder. Yeah, like all the kids beating the shit out of them on the playground everyday is such a picnic! Fat kids never catch a break. Boys do once in awhile if a football coach gets them in his grip for his front line. Those guys should die, too, for rewarding this kind of body mass.

So, what's the answer? Diet and exercise, right? Duh! However, you may be surprised to hear that the old, "calories in, calories out" adage is being challenged these days. I encourage everyone to check out Gary Taubes', Good Calories, Bad Calories for an in depth look at this topic that will rock your world! Yes, exercise matters and it's true that most Americans don't get enough of it. However, as Taubes so astutely points out, exercise matters much less in the obese scheme of things than we once thought. Turns out that most of the recommendations for diet and exercise jammed down our throats over the past 30+ years have little basis in science. The composition of what we eat and our bodies' response to it is far more important than any number of miles we log on the track.

Truth is, most of you reading this fear little of what I have said. Interesting? Sure. Relevant to your world? Probably not. However, it is the rare individual that is not touched in some way by obesity either at work, play or in the family. We should be zealots in our passion to spread the word about the truth revealed by Taubes and others. Get it out there! - Brian  

Comments

[Eva Hagen]

Great post. Sad but true. I'm Austrian and have definitely seen an increase in obesity in Europe as well, especially in kids.